Kettners

In a word, shoddy.

I booked a Sunday table online for myself and 2 family members who were visiting with chlidren and thought this would be a good bet as the restaurant is big and has a children's menu.

I then spent a week calling the restaurant to find out what the Sunday menu would be as I know they do a set menu every Sunday. No matter whether I selected the phone option for reservations, manager office, marketing did the phone ever get answered. The kitchen picked up the phone once and then hung up on me after keeping me on hold for 10mins whilst they found the 'right person' to answer my query. Knowing what a menu has on it is going to have a pretty big impact on whether you decide to dine somewhere...

So, I went in on Saturday afternoon in person to find out. At first the management looked for a Sunday menu but couldn't find it and as I was in earshot (about 6 foot away) I heard the manager say to the waitress "give him a booze menu" - brilliant.

After several discussions with the kitchen the waitress informed me that they didn't know what the Sunday menu would be as it depends what is sold on Saturday - though roast beef was a dead cert. Clearly a well organised kitchen. I was told though that it was £16.50 for 3 courses - very reasonable I thought.

We arrived on Sunday (only 2 other people in the restaurant) and the menu's were given out except that they stated £14.50 for 2 courses and £5 extra for 3 courses. I queried this with the waitress who then explained that I was wrong and that the menu's were also printed wrong as it should be £15.50 plus £5 supplement for 3 courses. What a mess and they clearly stated £16.50 for 3 courses the day before. They offered to take a pound off if we went for 3 courses. None of us did as a matter of principle.

If we weren't on a tight timescale with hungry children to feed then we would have left right then.

Anyway the prawn cocktail came and the langoustine on the plate was foul - how a chef could have sent it out is beyond me - it was falling apart and full of intestine tract black goo (the tail shell was off). I mentioned this to the waiter and he said "no problem sir" took the plate away and I never saw him again.

I could go on but I'm actually bored of writing anymore about this place. All I'll say is that the roasts were mediocre and everything was luke warm to cold. It took 2 hours to get through 2 courses. Painful.

Beautiful building, nice decor, below average food and very bad service. Best avoided until the management and chefs are replaced.
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Hopey
3 Overall rating
Food 3 | Service 2 | Atmosphere 5 | Value for money 3
Sunday, November 28, 2010

What a shambles. On arriving 10-minutes early for mid-week 7.30 dinner table, we had to join a queue snaking out of the building to wait in line to speak to the maitre d. On reaching our turn at the front of the queue, unfortunately our table was not ready so we were invited to wait at the bar - where another queue awaited. When we eventually did get our drinks, the barman then added insult to injury by including his service charge on the bill he presented us with - an unwelcome assumption.

By this time our attentions had turned to the all-pervading damp sewage smell that hung in the air of the bar and lobby area, however, luckily this unappetising perfume did not extend into the eating area when we were shown through to our table.

Time to order. On asking what was included in the 'summer salad' the waiter said it was a green leaf salad. On arrival, it turned out to include peas, beans, slivers of squash and surprisingly, bacon – lots of it. An important ingredient to mention, I would have thought, in the interests of vegetarians.

Amateur service and smelly surroundings aside, it must be said that the chef was excellent; steak and chips were very tasty, confit du canard was declared delicious by someone more used to eating this dish in Parisian cafes, sea bass was delicate and beautifully flavoured, tarragon chicken was cooked to perfection - however here another menu mess-up presented itself. The chicken dish was listed with carrot accompaniment – “Free Range Corn Fed Chicken, Tarragon Jus, Yukon Gold Carrots £15.00” - therefore prompting an order of mash at the usual additional cost that London restaurants are so fond of charging for 'side plates'. When the dish arrived however, it is in fact served with a potato galette. Omitting to list this on the menu is strange, but the waiter’s neglect to mention the dish already comes with potato at the time an additional order of mash is placed just seems sloppy. For desert a round of English Strawberry Pavlova arrived looking good, however the sickly sweet syrup the meringue was sitting in was overly sugary and not to everybody’s taste.

Maybe this team are going through the growing pains of getting their act together because 3-courses for 8-people ended up taking a laboured 2-hours with long gaps inbetween courses. These delays provided ample time to wonder out-loud at the bizarre dirge-like background music they were forcing out to compete with the noisy din of this mirror and glass walled room.

Still, the place was rammed, as befits such an historic location. As long as they’re not counting on repeat customers, perhaps curiosity will keep the queues coming.
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4 Overall rating
Food 9 | Service 2 | Atmosphere 2 | Value for money 2
Thursday, September 16, 2010

I keep adding to my earlier thoughts. This is Pizza Express (nothing wrong in being that) but at a high cost - yes it owns it ! Which explains all. All that investment but no knowledge apart from a misguided global domination-style belief run by middle-management Pinot Grigio influenced drinkers, who do not even understand the good or bad knowledge of such wine merits and influences. It has good service and reasonable brasserie food but when you think of its heritage - and the reason it sells its existence, it is a sham. How can such owners get it so wrong? Yes they provide atmosphere, food and everything else at a reasonable price but there are so many places offering far better value for money and taste. It is a shame to see such a restaurant with such a great history stick a cumberland or peperoni sausage up its heritage that it makes us all wonder why we need to compromise our comfortable eating over the hen-night brigade! V -grade Big Brother celeb stuff is so much over that it will be too late before Kettners realises its errors and then sadly it will have followed the same route and everything else it has compromised into a great abyss. 1840 and all that, but who really will care? Sadly for them I do. Sadly for what a great evening could be without the the self-destruct button of too many vodka shots served. Sadly for what profit, compromise and the veneer of heritage mean to the short-term 'gain'. Long live Kettners, but long live something more!
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Alan
6 Overall rating
Food 6 | Service 6 | Atmosphere 6 | Value for money 4
Monday, September 06, 2010

Money intake over customer satisfaction. They have so may things right - food, service and atmosphere is pretty good, but the small tables are a nightmare. First rule make your guests comfortable not an inconvenience! Recent visit on 4th September fulfilled many of the good criteria but the table size is a nightmare. It is not sustainable. Make your mind up - a restaurant of tradition and comfort or a pizza parlour? Both of which have applied in it's long history. Even trendies and the Essex/Home counties brigade will get fed up with the compromises made there. So function/private rooms fit the bill but the open brasserie is too much of a compromise. I would rather have a perfect table at J. Sheekey or a quick snack at The Wolseley for around the same price of £60 a head. Get real, this is an overblown heritage without the final delivery. I could run it so much better and still enhance its profit/style/image profile it so much deserves.
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Alan
6 Overall rating
Food 6 | Service 7 | Atmosphere 7 | Value for money 4
Monday, September 06, 2010

Booked kettners as a change from my usual West End lunch favourites (Wolesley etc). I've been for drinks there a couple of times and noticed that the restaurant didn't look too busy. No wonder!

My cucumber soup starter looked and tasted like single cream with a tinge of green colouring. And how could anyone get Caesar Salad wrong? The lettuce looked unappetitizing and the sauce (which we'd asked for on the side thankfully) was like peppered porridge. It really is something when both myself and my dining partner (who'd also ordered the salad) completely left it.

For mint - tea I was given a stingy half pot of half water with some fresh leaves. The whole bill came to over fifty quid - we'd have been better off going to Pizza Express - half the price and twice as tasty.

I hardly ever post reviews - and hate coming across all Michael Winner. But it's such a shame. This could be a lovely restaurant. The recent refurb is stylish - but the kitchen are really going to have to up their game before I'd even think about going back again.
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3 Overall rating
Food 1 | Service 7 | Atmosphere 3 | Value for money 1
Monday, August 02, 2010

We took a very good friend of mine from Brazil for a meal experience in Kettners

It started right - I was impressed with Maria the hostess – she’s great!

Ivana another great girl – she looked after us in the Champagne bar and when we were moved to the brassiere, service was slick and professional.

We were blown away by the melted Foie Gras and strawberry jelly – I’ve suggested a glass of Monbazillac to my friend to have with it.

I had cod which was perfectly cooked and well seasoned, Steven had lamb - again perfectly cooked and the quality of meat was great.

My friend had beef bourguignon also very impressed with it .

Ross looked after us – he is also a Kettners’ star.

Overall it was a great experience
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9 Overall rating
Food 9 | Service 9 | Atmosphere 8 | Value for money 10
Friday, July 09, 2010

So I've read the reviews. Some critics love it, a few don't. But let's be honest some critics think they are at their cleverest and most powerful when slagging a restaurant off. But the public is no fool - Kettners is superb! It's classy (champagne served how it should be in coupes not tall glasses), it's intimate (slip in to a booth) and fun (yes people are genuinely having a great time), it's trendy without trying too hard (interesting crowd, mixture of style and ages, comfortable in their own skin - now that's what I call the real cool set), the food is top notch (seabass with rhubarb - a match made in heaven)without being over-priced, the service is friendly but not obsequious (but critics like a bit of fawning don't they?). I love it. But then I've nothing to prove. I know good food and that I write well. Spot the difference!
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Kate robbins
10 Overall rating
Food 10 | Service 10 | Atmosphere 10 | Value for money 10
Sunday, June 27, 2010

I've never written a review about a restaurant before... thought it would be a good idea because Kettners has had some negative reviews about large group bookings, which nearly put me off arranging my party there, but I'm so glad I didn't!

I held a hen party there a few weeks ago and the service, food and overall organisation of the event was fantastic, and I can't recommend it highly enough. I must've bugged the hell out of the events team with all my requests and emails but they handled it admirably and it seems that everyone had a great night. Thanks Kettners!
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8 Overall rating
Food 8 | Service 9 | Atmosphere 9 | Value for money 7
Friday, May 21, 2010

I went to Kettners last friday and had a truly memorable night!

It was not planned but the lovely staff managed to find us a lovely table in front of the stunning display of the puddings!

My friend had seabass which was beautifully cooked and I had the mozzarella and beetroot salad, desserts looked stunning so we went for the chocolate fondant which was a delight and the panaccotta...wow!

Our waitress Daniela was really good and helpful, she even managed to get us a taxi on a very busy friday night in Soho!
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Lucy Liu
10 Overall rating
Food 9 | Service 10 | Atmosphere 10 | Value for money 9
Monday, April 19, 2010

We went to Kettners for a Saturday lunch. The room was reasonably full but service was excellent and the food was perfect. I wanted to know who made the bread (it was Floris) and I was told this, and was given the details in writing. My only dissapointment was the aged steak - which was nothing special at all, and certainly not dry matured. The rest of the food was faultless.
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Aberdeen John
8 Overall rating
Food 8 | Service 9 | Atmosphere 7 | Value for money 7
Sunday, April 11, 2010