La Porchetta (Islington)

Eating at La Porchetta feels like a punishment. The vast grey concrete walls, exposed steel girders, and plastic tables and chairs crammed into a claustrophobically small room are not so much ‘industrial chic’ as ‘institution hell’. The grubby metal loos would not be out of place in police cells and the seating arrangements (our table for 10 was rammed into the smallest corner in the restaurant, trapping half the group against the wall) contrive to make you feel as if you’re imprisoned in some kind of pizza'n'pasta penitentiary. Trial by terrible food was not what I had had in mind when I booked a table for myself and a group of friends.

The wine list is as depressingly short as the menu is confusingly long – there seems to be every combination of pizza toppings available, except the one you actually want. And there is no option to alter or add toppings to suit your taste.

The staff, to their credit, were efficient and quick, even though the place was packed (why?), but there was an air of cheerful prison warder about their attitudes, as if all were colluding to guide us towards our grim fate.

Our group ordered pizza, which was uniformly terrible. You can get better (and better wine) in the frozen section of almost any supermarket. My boyfriend asked for the Porchetta, advertised as being a feast of ham, minced pork, and ‘Italian sausage’. What came was, in the words of Modern Toss, a “stinking bread circle”, scattered with lumps of grey matter with the taste and texture of bad institution hot dogs. The Bosciaola was similarly inedible, covered in still-dried porcini mushrooms tougher than education boots. And the cheese on my Quattro Stagioni was only half melted. As for the wines, I found the Orvieto Classico undrinkably sweet and the Bardolino was still fermenting in the bottle, as if it were trying to escape, which was my first instinct the moment I walked through the door of this place… The beer - draught Moretti - was fine.

My advice is, don’t. It was £20 per head; next time I will take that £20 and spend it on something far better value for money, like McDonald’s, or meths. If you want to eat institution food in a depressing atmosphere, just commit a crime. At least in prison you don’t pay to be punished.
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crutherford
3 Overall rating
Food 2 | Service 6 | Atmosphere 1 | Value for money 1
Friday, December 11, 2009

Fantastic!!!

Haven't visited the restaurant for a while but me my partner and daughter went a few weeks ago and the food was great and brilliant value, Staff were very helpful and the atmosphere was really good. My daughter cant wait to go back.
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Emma
9 Overall rating
Food 8 | Service 7 | Atmosphere 9 | Value for money 10
Tuesday, September 15, 2009

My partner took me to this restaurant following a recommendation. This little gem in Islington delivers great Italian food and the menu is well priced.

We both had a Pizza each that was served to us within 10 minutes. I was pleasantly surprised how big the pizza was, as I couldn’t even see the plate. I had the ‘Napoletana’ Pizza that was bursting out with ingredients, plus for £7.70 it was well worth it. My partner had the ‘Calzone’ pizza that went down like a treat.

The atmosphere was good and the service was ok all round. I was VERY surprised when I got home to see that I was charged £1.98 (10%) service charge on my bill. That left a bitter taste in my mouth, as the service didn’t warrant this… I was more than happy to leave a tip instead!!!
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Denis Charlette - View all reviews by this user
7 Overall rating
Food 8 | Service 5 | Atmosphere 6 | Value for money 7
Thursday, August 13, 2009

Having been to the original La Porchetta in Finsbury Park which is fab, we were looking forward to trying the Upper Street one. Although the food on the whole was good, I was extremely disappointed with everything else. The service was so inconsistent - switching between really friendly and really abrupt and rude. Although I was expecting a lack of ambience, the decor and lights were very school cafeteria-like. It was great that the restaurant was busy and lively, but it was really noisy. I am happy to compromise atmosphere for good, cheap food, but this restaurant didn't make for a particularly pleasant experience.
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Jehan
5 Overall rating
Food 6 | Service 4 | Atmosphere 1 | Value for money 7
Wednesday, July 08, 2009

This place is excellent. Brilliant Pizza and good honest, good value food.
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Gilbert
8 Overall rating
Food 8 | Service 7 | Atmosphere 6 | Value for money 10
Friday, March 13, 2009

I love this restaurant but feel that the microwave is over used. Piping hot - Good, Microwaved to the death - Bad, dries out the food and kills the taste. Please stop doing this!
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Kate - Seattle
7 Overall rating
Food 8 | Service 6 | Atmosphere 6 | Value for money 7
Tuesday, February 24, 2009

This place does what it says, delivers good pizza and pasta at reasonable prices. For me this restaurant is great for taking the kids.

Great value for money restaurant

Don't know why anyone would go here expecting high-end Italian dishes, just look at the menu and the price range!!!!!
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pizzalover
9 Overall rating
Food 9 | Service 7 | Atmosphere 9 | Value for money 10
Sunday, February 22, 2009