Hix Oyster & Chop House

It’s nice to see nepotism alive and well in the restaurant reviewing world. Maschler, Gill and Coren all gave this place review's any restaurateur would die for. They don't mention too readily is that they are all very good friends with Mr Hix. On their recommendation I went more excited than any other opening I can remember. It was terrible beyond belief.

No problem on arrival was shown to the table given a menu, it went downhill from there. I saw straightaway they had pork scratchings on the menu and asked for a portion while I decided what to eat. Waited twenty minutes then the waitress took a drink order it arrived twenty minutes later at room temperature, as was the water, asked for ice was told there wasn’t any. Asked for the scratchings was told there wasn't any. Asked to place the order was only then told 8 items of the relatively small menu were unavailable. Re-chose quickly, bread came was excellent.

Twenty minutes later starters came and were average. Had to put up with a cacophony of moaning from the tables around us which moved from annoyance to incredulous laughter back to annoyance. The door woman/waitress came in for particular scorn as she was either tottering around in heels more suited to the cat walk carrying one plate at a time or outside on the phone discussing her night out in shoreditch house while smoking.

Mains arrived, lobster and chips (£32) the texture of cotton wool, Barnsley chop over cooked and dry as a bone with not a hint of gravy to moisten it. Asked for mayonnaise waited fifteen minutes then chased a waiter around the restaurant to get a thimble of it, it was splitting.

As we had finished what we could of the mains the red wine we'd ordered and hour and a half ago was presented to us we declined and asked for the bill... rubbish.
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andy
Overall rating
Food 3 | Service 0 | Atmosphere 2 | Value for money 0
Monday, July 21, 2008

Party of 8 people had a very enjoyable evening on Monday. Good service, despite some of the other reviewers having problems. Three courses, 3 bottles of wine came to approx £44 a head. Generous portions, and lots of free bread (warm from oven) and tap water.

Wine not the cheapest, with house starting at £18/19. Food highlights were the very rich and filling beef and oyster pie, red mullet and broad bean and sweetbread starters. Sides seemed relatively stingy compared to the generous mains.

Highlight of the evening was the dessert. I ordered cherry bakewell pudding for 2 (£12 I think). Waiter came back to say they had run out but instead, for the same price, gave us a dessert platter with handmade chocolate truffles, strawberry + vanilla ice cream, mini pancakes, lots of fresh berries, honeycomb and the famous perry jelly and elderflower ice-cream. This was a really nice touch that will make me come back.

Main complaint was that it was too hot in the room – more fans / ventilation needed in the corner and the chairs are very uncomfortable due to the lack of back support. Interesting artwork in the toilets!

Will be going back though – next time maybe for a pie and pint at lunch (and snooze at my desk afterwards).
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Peter
Overall rating
Food 7 | Service 8 | Atmosphere 7 | Value for money 6
Thursday, July 17, 2008

I have to admit to being quite apprehensive of my visit to Hix - the reviews have had a common thread in the fact that they all refer to Mr Hix' antipathy to his (non-celebrity) customers and a shambolic service.

I went for lunch on Friday as a guest of 2 business associates and the establishment was predictably busy. Excellent and knowledgable bar staff soon provided the aperitifs whilst our table was prepared and presided over by our hostess Ester - ex-St John, which is a very very good thing.. Crispy crackling by way of an appetiser was tantalising and very moreish - although the three of us could feel our arteries hardening. Starters were met with a mixed reaction - my ox tongue being exemplary, whilst ox cheek was met with indifference. The wine - a Corbieres recommended by Ester - was very acceptable and balanced the dishes perfectly.

Mains for us were entirely steak-based. Hanger Steak was a revelation and at £12.75 fantastic value. A word to the wise though - if you are going to serve bone marrow only 200 yards from St John, it better be good. It wasn't - Fergus Henderson can rest assured. Portions of vegetables were slightly parsimonious and the french fries were woefully small. The Dexter steak - a whopper large enough for two was very good, although at £59.00 verging on the obscene and not a patch on the Hanger steak.

All in all I can say with all the initial worries we emerged well fed and impressed by the staff and ambience. The bill - which my associates kindly settled - was hefty at £270 for three although we did indulge in the alcohol more than most and this is appearing to be the norm in upper-end venues around London - increasingly-so in Farringdon. Mr Hix was in residence but appeared affable to those who don't appear on the silver screen, even bending down to pick up my jacket which had inadvertantly fallen on the floor.

Given the fact that St John is closed for 6 weeks for refurbishment, this bodes well for Hix. If they can deliver constantly impressive service they might just gain some of Mr Henderson's patronage for a while at least.

A good lunch - we will return but we hope that they sort out the darned water jugs!
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Vestan Pance - View all reviews by this user
Overall rating
Food 8 | Service 9 | Atmosphere 8 | Value for money 7
Monday, July 07, 2008

This is an expensive restaurant,in a non-descript, dirty side street behind Smithfield. The decor is very dark brown and poorly lit and ventilated. Many have commented on the poor service, it has not improved. Indeed there is no managerial pressure for it to improve, as Hix does not have a grip on this.

Much has been made of the sourcing of the food. But little has been said on execution. At our meal,about half of everything ordered was not right. Half was very good, but it seemed that for every dish that was good another was poor. This seemed to be from the kitchen judging from our group's comments- soggy, overcooked, tepid, didn't work etc. When prices are at this level, it is not acceptable that half of what everyone ordered is not right. Unfortunately, there is no way of predicting which half will be poor. So,I suspect that most clients will not go back, and Hix will fade.
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C.Elder
Overall rating
Food 4 | Service 4 | Atmosphere 4 | Value for money 4
Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Oh dear. I am afraid to say i had an appalling time here. The restaurant looks lovely, but the service is terrible.

We had a table booked at 9.00 , and were not seated until 10.15! If it was a busy restaurants with no tables i would understand, but the lady on the door was having a fag outside and 3 tables were empty and half set for the whole hour.

When we eventually sat down our order was taken at 10.30. The asparagus starter arrived at 11 (30 mins to make asparagus!!) , and when the steaks came we had to send one back as it was too tough. At 32 quid a steak , that was not really acceptable. The second bottle of wine was corked. At least 3 other tables around us were complaining about service / timing and food.

This was a disappointing evening, but the only saving grace was a waiter called Jason who really tried his hardest to make things better for us. Sadly it was not enough. I will not be returning
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Overall rating
Food 3 | Service 0 | Atmosphere 5 | Value for money 0
Monday, June 23, 2008

I agree that the service is terrible but on the night we went, I felt it was not just about poor management, which could be sorted out, and more an attitude to customers - that characteristic 'some customers are more important than others' attitude that some London restaurants adopt.

It was a special occasion for us, because I took my mother for her birthday. In the event, it was so noisy and chaotic that it was impossible to enjoy. The oysters were good, and so was the asparagus - but this is more a matter of having a good supplier than anything else. The Whiteing Special was soggy - probably as a result of sitting around waiting for a waiter....

This place might improve, but I'm not encouraged to go back because I don't think they care much about ordinary diners.
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Overall rating
Food 3 | Service 1 | Atmosphere 1 | Value for money 2
Thursday, June 12, 2008

Went there recently, but was taken rather than took, so don't know if the bill reflected well or not! However I did have the food and that was rather good, particularly the Steak and Oyster pie which was very good. As commented elsewhere the service could do with a pick up and I also agree with the complaints re the water jug - there were three of us only and yet it barely gave us a glass each! Nice ambience though in a neat side street location. If they can pick up the service then it'll be very good.
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Jim Eblett
Overall rating
Food 9 | Service 4 | Atmosphere 9 | Value for money 8
Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I took clients in the week and you know you're in trouble when all everyone does is talk about how bad the service is. You just can't relax.

Ok, before I launch into what went wrong, I'll launch into the positives:

* The Food is excellent - very good steak and incredible oysters

* The interior is nice and fits into the Smithfield location

* No one was ill and Al-Queda did not blow the place up during my visit

* The lady on the door was a superstar and rescued what would have been a total shambles of an evening.

* They knocked off a bottle of wine off the bill without argument and the service charge.

The End.

* All the waiters are fairly dim & do not look up, ever.

* Mark Hix swanned in like he owned the place (ahem) and air kissed a few chicks and then pissed off - basically ignoring most of his patrons.

* The tables are tiny - I felt like Guliver and I am no prop forward

* They brought my boss's steak 25 minutes late

* They forgot to bring wine we ordered, or even tell the barman for that matter

* Don't let them put you in Siberia (aka the raised platform)

* the little water jugs are a nice idea, but in practice, you are constantly asking for more - and that creates more anxiety when the waiters are this poor.

The End.

"Every problem is a management problem" - this place will be great, I would just advise to wait a while until they get their chops (geddit?) on the service front.
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Coops
Overall rating
Food 9 | Service 0 | Atmosphere 4 | Value for money 3
Saturday, May 31, 2008

'I can see a growing trend for places that offer traditional cuts of meat on the bone...'

[Mark Hix recreates the 18TH century Chop House]

RESTAURATEUR AND comedian (I will qualify later) Mark Hix, has obviously had a lot of fun with his latest joint. Joint, T-bone, hanger steak and shin, in fact. Beneath a bling sign, his plain-tiled dining room immediately fits within the Smithfield scene. Think exposed floorboards, old-fashioned canteen globes that glow, paper tablecloth guards, pillar box red pepper cellars, chunky Duralex water glasses and stationary fans. In fact this retro rejuvenation of a former sausage factory is all a little St. John (Fergus Henderson is his friend).

A dark wood bar dispenses artisan beers, porter and ciders (warning: the wine list is devastatingly poor and corkage is forbidden).

As an aside, I once worked with a pig farmer turned winemaker who in another life accidentally tipped a black bag of what he thought were hops, but what proved to be stale cigarette butts into a Bungay brew. No matter, it improved the blend (or so he said). Maybe the definition of the well-intentioned artisan is to be able to make mistakes but still charge for them at the end?

Anyway, Hix, who spent 17 formative years with Caprice Holdings, evidently values his army of suppliers. You can taste their dedication along the adventure that is lunch. In fact at least one of the more surreal cheese suppliers, Blur bassist, Alex James, was quietly lunching within when two friends and I arrived. This 'dandyish, elegantly wasted alcoholic genius of Soho', who purportedly 'blew a million quid on champagne' now nurtures a herd of goats in the Cotswolds. Apparently the Oasis duo also harbour hardened lactic ambitions.

Despite being seated in an unremarkable corner by a striped chubby oaf who was about as much fun as running cross country with a flattened slug in one’s plimsole, the charming, knowledgeable, unpretentious Scot who took over put us at ease. So impressive was his service that we would have been very happy for him to join us.

Our waistlines already widening in anticipation, we begun with shell-on oysters berthed on seaweed: tiger striped, nervy, mineral and crisp Lindisfarne, and creamier Maldon. I dipped into the homemade Cabernet Sauvignon shallot vinegar. I normally hate this concoction, but the sweet, blackcurrant scented version was clearly superior. According to our waiter, “the oysters are so good we open a bottle for them”.

A bottle of '05 White Rioja by Finca Allende from the village of Briones, home to Dinastia Vivanco’s famous wine museum, is allegedly crafted in the modern style. Bolshily sturdy, tropically fruit-driven and simultaneously green, with lanolin and overt, but appropriate, heavily charred oak and eventual acidity.

Softened ‘soldiers’ of Cornish Asparagus were served prostrate on a porous antique silver rack with tepid Hollandaise which lacked lemon tang. Incidentally, critic Marcel Proust once claimed that asparagus transformed his chamber-pot ‘...into a flask of perfume.’ He later qualified it as Believe, by Britney Spears.Hard boiled Gulls Eggs, the shells mottled like quayles, only larger, were picked from a wooden bowl and served with salt. The yoke, still slightly runny, had a longer aftertaste than their clucking counterparts, and was not even vaguely fishy.

My companions enjoyed a salted Ox Cheek Salad, although I thought the twist in that tail was the fact it resembled Spam. Uncomfortably acutely.

The final starter, chilled to the point of being killed, was a Rabbit Brawn terrine with mustard. Tasty, bound with plenty of moisturising aspic glue, the mustard knocked it back into submission too dramatically.

A trip to check on Marcel Proust’s poetic claim via a Marcel Duchamp installation revealed the aesthetically horrific depths plundered by Hix’s humour. On the loo doors, intimately close-up photographs of gender specific body parts have been hastily hung. Returning, I noted a neon squiggle on the wall. When reflected in a carefully placed mirror, it spelt out an expletive seasoned sentence.

We battled on, choosing a bottle of '05 Amsfield Pinot Noir from middle earth (Central Otago). Spicy, softened by bright, bulging, buoyant raspberry fruit and a shaving of dark cooking chocolate, it was depressingly under-powered for our Porterhouse, carved at the table. Sealed toastily and almost blue within, this very mature, rested meat Uluru was beyond reproach the finest protein ever to enter my mouth. Partnered with butter infused with more shallot vinegar, almost foie gras in feel, the bloody succulence had us in awe. The neon phrase reflected in the mirror suddenly made sense. We exclaimed it! Our waiter smiled as he caught me almost archaeologically excavating the final remnants. Entrancing.

Blur’s youthful cheese, wrapped in vine leaves was served too cold, with overpoweringly sweet, Hob-Nob style crackers and a tiny glass of depthfully refreshing Maury (although we were initially over-charged for a bottle). Close-by, Glasshouse chef Shaun Hill and his companion came to the end of a long lunch, seemingly sated.

Once the curiously regular temperature issues are rectified, and a thoughtful wine list devised, I think this very valid new opening will soar into the scorebooks. Whilst every conceivable critic has bibbingly hurtled there, this is actually an eatery which ought to eschew them, luring in the less parasitic public with its gnawable simplicity and witty flounces...
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Douglas Nicholas Austen Blyed
Overall rating
Food 9 | Service 10 | Atmosphere 7 | Value for money 7
Saturday, May 24, 2008

Went to Hix's last night, ate at the bar, the whole experience was fantastic, oysters to start were spot on, the bacon chop and mutton curry were faultless with a perfectly dressed watercress salad. The portions were large the taste was superb, one the the more enjoyable meals in London for a long time. Great value for such good food. This place should have a long future. Left with a smile on our faces.
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Mr Bleak
Overall rating
Food 10 | Service 9 | Atmosphere 10 | Value for money 9
Thursday, May 15, 2008