The Calf

The reviews of this bar are seriously out of date and I believe The Calf is now under new management?! Being a Clapham resident, I would call this pub my 'local' and can think of nothing better than spending a Sunday with a bottle of red in front of the roaring fire. Food choices are limited, but the wine list is great and prices very reasonable - give the place a try...!
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Georgie K, local res.
Overall rating
Food 8 | Service 9 | Atmosphere 6 | Value for money 9
Thursday, March 06, 2008

Pub lunches should always be approached with limited expectations. Good gastro pubs exist, but are not ubiquitous. So it’s especially disappointing to have even limited expectations dashed.

The Calf is a nice enough pub. It’s large, open and roomy, and once a few people fill these spaces, it has a pleasant atmosphere. Babe and I turned up for a friend’s going away lunch on a Saturday, and were less than inspired by the menu choices. Still, it’s a pub, so perhaps unfair to expect the exotic.

Still the doubter, I thought I’d go for a pasta, reasoning that it would be difficult to cock that up. “Chicken, bacon and tomato sauce with oregano on tagliatelli” the menu read. I ordered it and waited. After 20 or so minutes, I saw the chef put a plate of pasta on his counter to be brought to our table. After 25 or so minutes, I decided I could watch my own meal go cold for only so long and so walked up to the chef’s counter, enquired about the destination of the meal, and eventually served myself.

I might have been better off leaving it there. The pasta itself looked like it had been cooked for hours. The sauce looked like it had fallen on the pasta by accident, so separate was it to the pasta. The chicken was tender, but the meal was bland and pointless. It looked like the chef either didn’t care or didn’t know.

Elsewhere on the table, various epicurean catastrophes were unfolding. Steaks were over done, burgers were dry and devoid of flavour, and even the chips were below par, barely fried enough to make them soft, let alone crispy. Too often people exaggerate by saying “this is the worst food I’ve ever eaten” when a meal is not good. But rarely have I seen such consistently bad food.

The wine list is not bad, plenty of good, cheap if somewhat familiar wines. The staff are friendly enough, but seemed as drunk as we were by the end of the night. Which is funny for about 5 seconds, but then you just want to be served. A good drinking venue, but save your dining budget for a kebab on the way home.
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Mango - View all reviews by this user
Monday, October 24, 2005