Felix Hunt -The dangers of product endorsement
Wandering around the local branch of a well-known supermarket the other day, dispensing my usual friendly advice to young middle-class mothers while their charming children raced joyfully up and down the aisles knocking over the elderly and tripping up members of staff, I came upon a most peculiar sight. A whole aisle had been given over to a multitude of items – some foodstuffs, some electrical and some with no obvious purpose at all – and what united them was Jamie Oliver’s face on the packaging. It was rather like coming across evidence of some small religious cult, or at least some sort of little cult anyway.
There is a comedy show on television that I find most amusing, it shows a typical American family with all the obvious cultural handicaps one would expect, led by the father, an engaging buffoon. Many people claim the father to be the star of the show, but I find the circus clown character the most engaging; a symbol of the entertainment media’s cynicism and greed. In one episode this clown found he had run out of things to endorse with his name and image and thus was destined to become penniless. I can’t help wondering if dear Jamie has seen this episode and been given something to think about?
There is also another danger in endorsing products willy-nilly which is that one can never be quite sure that the product won’t poison the eater, explode suddenly or simply be a load of rubbish and stop working soon after purchase. The public never seem to blame the manufacturer in these cases, only the celebrity who possibly endorsed it without ever having a clear idea of what it was anyway. I once put my name and face to a brand of dog food and all went well for a time with the cheques rolling in most agreeably. “Dogs will lick themselves, but nothing licks Hunt’s Doggy Delight” was the engaging slogan, as I recall.
The tide turned when one dog owner claimed to have found cat meat in the tin, not I hasten to add meat for cats, but actual cat. This seemed perfectly reasonable to me; dogs love to chase cats and would almost certainly eat them if they could catch them and were hungry enough. There was a simple elegance and symmetry to the whole concept that made perfect sense, or so I thought at the time. When I advanced that argument on Morning TV however the charming Scottish presenter denounced me as a monster and invited her audience of indolent dole fodder to savagely boycott the product. Soon after my contract was not renewed.
It all goes to show the importance of not signing everything put in front of you while bedazzled by pound signs. Jamie’s Flavour Shaker for example puts me in mind of a 70’s craze for Clackers; hardened balls which one oscillated furiously and which crashed together with an agreeable sound. Soon after the craze peaked doctors’ surgeries were full to bursting with people displaying fractured wrists, together with eyes full of Clacker shards. I’m not saying Jamie’s Flavour Shaker is in the same league, no doubt it has been thoroughly stress- tested by N.A.S.A, but if it does turn out to be similar to my old balls then he will have only himself to blame.
