All reader reviews by Gary Masala

Jaffna House

Everyone seems to rave on about Jaffna House, but it really is overrated. You can get much better around Tooting Bec. I'll wager 9 out of 10 of the rave reviews on this page are from St George's students who are too poor or too lazy to trek more than 50 yards beyond the back entrance of the hospital to get lunch. I know that's why I eat here so often.

The staff are really friendly, and the food is extremely cheap, but it's always a bit of a let down. The legendary thali is very much hit and miss, and the other meals never really taste fresh.

They really need to get to grips with using the microwave too. The staff seem to think that less than 5 seconds is long enough to heat a gigantic potato dumpling. This happened to me so many times when I went in for a takeaway that I adopted the habit of telling the staff I wanted my food really hot, the result being a lunch that was lukewarm instead of cold. It's a real shame, as some of the snacks are delicious when served hot.

This place could stand out amongst the legions of Pakistani restaurants of Tooting, but they really let themselves down, and have probably left more than a few people thinking Sri Lankan food is bad in the process.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Overall rating
Food 4 | Service 7 | Atmosphere 5 | Value for money 5

Lahore Karahi

Cheap and cheerfuI. I had a lamb karahi and keema naan here this week and thought it was great. There are a lot of cheap curry houses in Tooting, and unfortunately the cheapness is often manifested in the quality of the food and service. This was not the case here - friendly staff, good food, low prices.

Didn't take much notice of atmosphere, which I think is a good thing. If the environment is conducive to conversation, then it's working.

Recommended

Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Overall rating
Food 9 | Service 9 | Atmosphere 8 | Value for money 10

Sausage And Mash Café

I went to the Portobello branch this week, and was very disappointed. I wasn't expecting anything spectacularly fancy, but for £8 I hoped for something that was at least a match for a decent home cooked meal. I'm no Gordon Ramsay, but I could have done far better myself.

Judging from all the fancy varieties on offer, you would be forgiven for expecting some classy sausages. This was not the case. Mine were rubbery, fluorescent pink, and generally cheap tasting. That's right - they weren't even Butcher's Choice standard. They came as part of a toad in a hole in which the yorkshire pudding was claggy, burnt, and soggy. I suspect it was no stranger to the microwave, as parts of it were cooked, but cold.

The best I can say for the mash is that it was smooth. If I buy food in a restaurant, I want something unhealthy, and for mash, that means lots of butter and lots of seasoning, but this was just no-frills stodge. This wouldn't have mattered if the gravy had been any good. A mediocre portion of bangers and mash can become decent with the addition of some well made onion gravy, and a decent portion becomes sublime. This stuff was bad though. Worse than bisto. It had the consistency of PVA glue, and a dodgy artificial taste to it which I couldn't work out, but suspect was ketchup.

I'm a greedy bastard so I ordered some chips too, but couldn't eat more than a couple. They reminded me of the chips served at school. In contrast to the rest of the meal, which was tepid to cold, the chips were also so hot as to be inedible when they arrived. (Not that they were any more edible once they'd cooled down.

Service was fine, I guess. Atmosphere was absent, as it was understandably empty.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Overall rating
Food 3 | Service 6 | Atmosphere 2 | Value for money 0